Had a big argument with M.  In the middle of it was C.  Many an argument was started because of C's behaviour, bringing M and I into big fights.  But he is not to be blamed.  It's M's stupid, stubborn attitude.  Day was crap for all.    

In the evening, kids were ok, talking to him and including him in things.  They are so noble and kind- hearted.  So forgiving.   Me, I don't k now.  I am resentful and hurt as hell.  This man acts like a shell.  Like there is nothing in him to give.  He is comfortably fine excluding people from his emotions.

It's comforting to hear kids laughing and enjoying their evening.  G has been sitting at next computer near me.  She has been listening to  music I have been playing.  She asked me why I was playing all Brazilian music, told her it's my "Brazilian Night"   Wish I could do the samba.  I try but it ends up more like a merengue.  What the hell...there are more important things in the world than being able to dance samba.

S called me today.  I was glad to hear a soothing voice since I was so upset and crying.  Wish that called had lasted hours.  I needed it terribly.

   Tomorrow will be my friend Soli's third anniversary of her passing.